I love being productive and getting things done. I find it quite satisfying checking things off my to-do list. I get even more thrills from completing my current day's plan and then beginning to check things off my next day's plan. What a sense of accomplishment! However, in today’s fast-paced busy world, it’s easy to get caught up in the endless stream of to-do lists, meetings, and the hustle to achieve. But how often do we stop to simply be rather than constantly do? When it comes to mental and physical health, this question holds significant importance: Are we focusing on productivity at the expense of our well-being?
Understanding the Difference: Doing vs Being
Doing is the act of achieving, accomplishing and striving for goals. It's the "getting things done" mentality that propels us forward in life. We’re constantly on the go, juggling tasks, and pushing ourselves to perform better in our personal and professional lives. Doing can be a good thing — it brings progress, action, and results and makes us feel good in the moment. And, for us "strivers," the act of doing gives us quite the dopamine hit which can have us yearning for more and more.
But being is different. It’s about presence, mindfulness and self-acceptance. It's allowing yourself to simply exist without the pressure of doing something. It’s embracing moments of rest, relaxation, and introspection. Being is what helps us recharge, connect with our inner selves, and experience peace.
The Dangers of Doing: Burnout and Exhaustion
When we live in a state of constant doing, it can lead to stress, burnout, and exhaustion. Your mind and body need time to rest and rejuvenate, or else the toll of overexertion can take a serious hit on your mental and physical health. We've all been there and we've seen and felt the aftermath.
Chronic stress is linked to numerous health problems, including anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, and even cardiovascular disease. When we neglect the importance of being, we push ourselves beyond our limits, both mentally and physically, which often leads to an imbalance in life. We often fill our plates with so many things that we do not take the time to truly listen to our bodies. I believe that when we finally stop doing, it can be scary. It can make us take a deeper look at life and pay attention to what is actually important. Many of us do not want to stop the doing and face the downtime as this may lead us to having to change things up or perhaps face issues head on, which can then create even more anxiety.
The Power of Being
Incorporating more being into your life is a profound way to prioritize self-care and overall well-being. Unfortunately, with the pressures of society, taking time for ourselves can make us feel that this type of "time" isn't important or that it should take a back seat. However, science has shown that when we take care of ourselves, we have the ability to care for others in a more heartfelt way, which ultimately leads to more happiness in our lives. And, ultimately, more happiness is a good thing, right?
Here are some ways to incorporate more being into your life:
Mindfulness: One of my favorite mindfulness teachers, Dr. Ellen Langer, describes mindfulness as the simple practice of actively noticing things. This gets us to pay attention to the present moment and it keeps us in the moment. In her most recent book, The Mindful Body, Langer states, "When we are mindful, we notice things that we didn't notice before, and we come to see that we didn't know the things we thought we knew as well as we thought we knew them." She believes that if we can change the way we think, we can take control over our own health and well-being. I couldn't agree more! The next time you leave your house, try and notice 2-3 new things that you didn't notice before.
Meditation: Taking time to sit still, focus on your breath, and being present in the moment can calm your nervous system and reduce stress and is a powerful way to "be." If you find that your mind tends to wander during time of stillness, you are not alone! Focus on bringing your mind back to the breath. Deep belly breathing is one of my favorite exercises to do when I need to calm my mind. Close your eyes and place one hand on your belly and one hand on your heart. On the inhale, let your belly come out like a "buddha belly" and on the exhale, move your belly towards your spine. Even just 5 minutes of this type of breathing can be beneficial. I find it helpful if you have a hard time falling asleep. If you are new to meditation, an easy way to get started is through the free app Insight Timer.
Rest and Recovery: Adequate rest is essential for both physical and mental recovery. Whether it's a good night’s sleep or a few minutes of quiet reflection during the day, giving yourself time to rest is critical for recharging your energy. Embrace naps, slow mornings, and days where nothing is planned. Your body and mind will thank you!
Self Compassion: Being kind to yourself means recognizing that you don’t always need to be "doing" something to prove your worth. Embrace imperfections and be gentle with yourself. Easier said than done, right? I find Dr. Kristen Neff's work to be very helpful when it comes to learning how to care for ourselves. In her most recent book, Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout, she discusses and offers many tools to help with burnout. By allowing yourself to simply exist without judgment, you foster a healthier mindset. Check out the Self Love Mantra Cards I designed as a helpful tool to get you started on a consistent path towards self love and acceptance.
Time in Nature: Nature has an incredible way of bringing us into the present moment. Whether you take a walk on a trail or simply sit in a park, the natural world helps you slow down and reconnect with yourself. Listen to the sounds around you, breathe in the fresh air and let your mind be still. I find that when I am having a hard time making a decision about something or if I need a mental break, nature grounds me like nothing else can. It helps me to naturally discover what it is that I need to do. Some of my best ideas have come from being in nature.
Integrating Being and Doing
While it’s essential to embrace moments of stillness, balance is key. We can’t neglect our goals or ambitions, or as my husband calls it "adulting," but we also can’t ignore our need for rest and rejuvenation. Instead of viewing being as the opposite of doing, think of it as an essential part of a balanced life.
Here are a few ways to strike that balance:
Set Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries around work and personal life is very important. It can be a challenge at times especially with so many of us working from home, but when we do set the boundaries, we honor ourselves. Take breaks when needed, leave your work at the office, or have a separate area in your home for work related items.
Create Rituals: Develop routines that include both productive actions and restorative practices. For example, after a productive workday, allow yourself a moment to unwind with a hot bath, stretching, or take a moment to journal about your thoughts. I find it helpful to schedule my meditation practice into my day otherwise, it takes a back seat and just doesn't get done. The Sageborn Ritual Dice are a wonderful way to start a healthy ritual into your day!
Prioritize What Matters: Instead of overwhelming yourself with everything that needs to get done, focus on what truly matters. Simplify tasks, and give yourself grace if something doesn’t get finished. Ask yourself, "Is it really that important that this gets done today?" If not, move that task to a different day and use that time to reflect and/or reevaluate your priorities for the day.
The Gift of Being
Embrace your moments of stillness, for they are not wasted time — they are essential for replenishing your mind, body, and soul. By finding harmony between being and doing, you’ll create a more fulfilling, balanced life that supports long-term well-being.
Remember, you are enough as you are. You don’t always have to be doing something to be worthy of rest, peace, or joy. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is allow yourself the gift of being.