Burnout, headaches, low energy, irritability, you name it-these are just a few of the symptoms we can be faced with from not taking good care of ourselves. These symptoms can often manifest into other more serious ailments or diseases if left unattended. Self care is a constant practice for me as I love helping others and taking care of others. I have realized though, over time, that when I am not taking care of myself first, it trickles down to those I love. But, why is this practice so challenging?
Taking care of ourselves is often overlooked and unfortunately is often put on the back burner. Too many other priorities, deadlines and worries that take the front seat. The reality is, that when we don't take care of ourselves first, it stops the flow of energy and we end up paying the price. When we practice self care, we stimulate our parasympathetic nervous system which returns our body into a recovery state, ("rest and digest") which then eases fear, anxiety and stress. Most of us these days run on high in the "fight or flight state" and overstimulate our sympathetic nervous system. When we operate in this fashion, our nervous system is in a constant state of panic thinking danger is all around us. Although the sympathetic nervous system has its purpose, it can really be hard on the body physically and emotionally to be in this state the majority of the time. As we bring self care practices into our lives on a consistent basis, it prevents excess stress from building up and allows our body and mind to rest and recover. Obstacles that come our way all of the sudden don't seem as challenging as they once were.
The reality is, that when we don't take care of ourselves first, it stops the flow of energy and we end up paying the price.
I used to think that the only way to practice self care meant getting a massage once/week or having a pedicure once/month. This can get expensive quickly and hard to manage into an already busy schedule. Now, I am not saying that massage and pedicures aren't great forms of self care, they are, but I want you to begin by thinking about self care through easy, small things you can do for yourself and then build from here.
When we practice self care, we stimulate our parasympathetic nervous system which returns our body into a recovery state, ("rest and digest") which then eases fear, anxiety and stress.
Let's talk briefly about society. (I love the song "Society" by Eddie Vedder so I think of this song when this word pops into my mind). Society places many pressures on us of having to "go, go, go" and "do, do, do" as well as pressure to be someone or something, make a certain amount of money, look a certain way, etc. We may not realize it, but this applies a ton of pressure and stress to our already large load of responsibilities. So how in the world are we suppose to take good care of ourselves without guilt? When exactly are we to make the time to do so? Here's a few thoughts and ideas on ways to practice self care that don't require a ton of time or money and are relatively easy to implement into your daily routine when you are feeling stressed.
Self Love
Self care truly is a form of self love. I believe that it starts here. If we care deeply about ourselves, we want to make sure we are taken care of and that requires us to do the necessary work to begin the transformation. I created the Self Love Mantra Cards as a simple way for others to begin thinking about getting into the habit of practicing self care.
Pausing
When life seems overwhelming and spinning out of control, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to pause. Ask yourself, "What do I need right now in this moment?" When we take the time to pause, it lengthens the amount of time between the stressor and our reaction to it which is always a good thing. This "pausing practice" places us in a calmer state and allows us to not feel so overwhelmed or reactive. It can be challenging to do as our bodies tell us otherwise. But, it is a powerful practice and it can be very helpful in stressful situations. For more on pausing, you can listen to my podcast episode, "The Power of the Pause."
When we take the time to pause, it lengthens the amount of time between the stressor and our reaction to it which is always a good thing.
4, 7, 8 Breathing
When I start to feel anxious or overwhelmed, I try to take a moment to pause and do a quick breathing exercise. Doing so makes me feel more connected to myself and more in control of my emotions and thoughts. Just inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth can reset the nervous system pretty quickly and place you in a better state. I like the 4, 7, 8 breathing exercise (good for anyone other than pregnant women). Inhaling through the nose for a count of 4, holding for a count of 7, then exhaling for a count of 8 through the mouth. You will want to do this for 4 rounds and no more than 8 rounds total. Try practicing it twice a day for best results. For those that are pregnant, try inhaling through the nose for a count of 4 and exhaling through the mouth for a count of 8.
Just inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth can reset the nervous system pretty quickly and place you in a better state.
Get Outside + Move
Sometimes, all it takes is just getting outside. Often, our best ideas come from being in nature. Not only does it feel good to get fresh air, but it also grounds our energy and connects us to the earth. It is a wonderful way to discharge and allow time for self reflection. Just a walk outside for 10 minutes can do the trick.
Self Massage
Since most of us use some sort of cream or oil on our face every day, one way I like to incorporate self massage into my routine is to give myself a facial massage when I am applying my facial oil and/or facial moisturizer. It plumps the skin, helps with fine lines and wrinkles and gets circulation moving.
Make a Cup of Herbal Tea
When anxiety kicks in, try a warm cup of herbal tea. Opt for choices such as lemon balm or lavender. These herbal tea options help calm the nervous system and are made without caffeine when made as a single blend. Make sure when purchasing tea for calming/relaxation that it is an herbal tea and not a black tea. Although a black tea is a better choice than coffee when stress appears, these types of tea are still caffeinated and caffeine in general isn't the best when dealing with high levels of stress and anxiety.
Make sure when purchasing tea for calming/relaxation that it is an herbal tea and not a black tea.
Honor Yourself
Can honoring yourself truly be a form of radical self care? The answer is YES. Saying yes when you mean yes and saying no when you mean no. This type of practice means being true to yourself and recognizing the things that light you up and learning to be okay with those things that don't. I recently have been challenging myself to only do things if they are a "hell yes!"
Remember, self care doesn't mean you have to be spending lots of money or is something that has to take a lot of time out of your day. Start with one item on this list and try to do it daily for one week. See how you feel. The goal is to not let stress build up so when life throws you some challenges, you have some tools to reach for. Do you have a favorite self care ritual? Share below!